This knowledge of our stunning archeological and anthropological breakthrough is derived from a trio of “Tiki” idols (Urbus imprimis idoli, Detroit Tiki Trio) from the Polynesian peoples of the South Pacific, found in the environs of Detroit over the past few centuries.

These Tiki idols, gods, charms or fetishes (Urbus imprimis idoli) originated at least a millennium ago, from the highly advanced Polynesian civilization, of the lush tropical isles of the South Pacific. The Polynesians were skilled artisans and amazing seafarers, criss-crossing the globe while our ancestors were floating sticks in creeks.

While the precise transport of our tiki trio to the Motor City, remains wrapped in a gossamer “iefu” (Polynesian for shroud) of a murky riddle, Ivy-league professors of anthropology and the arts speculate that they were paddled up the Mississippi or down the St. Lawrence rivers. Even our mighty glaciers, whose northern ice sheets carved our lakes, are a source of speculation.

Thought to have been lost to posterity, they have been found totally intact and unharmed under the back seat of a 1956 Packard.

How fortunate we are indeed, to have the catalyst for such advancement in our midst.

“How might these history-altering artifacts, found almost in my own backyard, be of benefit to me?” one may ponder.

Of course, they already have; gifting the Motor City a destiny like no other metropolis in human history.